Last week I received a bunch of flowers as an anniversary gift from my wife. She arranged that they are delivered at my office. I appreciate her gesture, mainly because I am a sucker for the initiative to do things differently. I love being exposed to new experiences and initiative makes room for that. Besides, I don’t know any dudes who’ve ever received flowers before. I know you didn’t either but at least now you know one – me. But that’s not why I am writing this.
A week later, I have only watered the flowers once, and they are still looking good. Well, that’s what I thought until the lady who cleans my office asked me;
“Why are you killing these flowers?”
I said to her, “But I’ve watered them and they seem to be alright.”
I’ve learned from my mother not to argue with a woman when she tells you something you should with flowers.
So I promised to water them again. She just nodded on her way out and said something which resonated with me in so many ways. I don’t think she knew.
She said, “Talk to the flowers,” and walked out.
Something just leapt in my spirit, when she said those words.
I know that words are powerful. I also know that they are the seed for emotions. I know that life is in the power of my tongue. I know that one of our primary needs as humans in the universe is a conversation. We thirst after dialogue between people who are like minded thinkers. People who share the same level of thought as us, if not greater.
Conversations let us know that we belong and we are not alone in the world. Experience has taught me that we do not necessarily seek to be with people but it’s the birds of the same feather that we look for. Words are the essence of conversation. If our conversations were a blank canvas, then our words would be the paint which our reasoning uses to articulate the masterpiece thoughts and ideas in our minds. We use them to exchange commentary on those masterpieces. Words are powerful.
But to resurface a bit.
Here I am now alone in the office with the flowers staring at me. This is what I literally said to them;
“Are you good?”
As if they were going to say something back. I am clearly a novice at this.
But I recognised that at times as men we communicate without words. We understand “watering” those around us is enough to show them that we care, actions are a form speech to men. We do that almost instinctively.
Even though there are many layers to conversations or the lack thereof, we should now and then, “speak to the flowers,” they may not give us the desired response but today I’ve learned that they can hear us.
Now I will be the first one to admit that I am not good at that in real life, I am just not built that way and I am comfortable with that. So when I do speak it involves openness and to me, that means vulnerability – that is not easy. Not because I am not able to but I always the recipients’ ability to handle my fragility. I am confident this is the same with many men. While there is no need to medicate this because my sentiments are not a diagnosis, neither is a choice to be reserved a medical condition.
But now and then it would be great to hear the flowers, say “Thank you” or “How are you” or better yet, it’s safe to open up to me – so we can have a conversation.
To everyone in my life, I appreciate you. I may not say that often but I hope you understand that I try to say it every day through my efforts to fetch water for you.