Sometimes the way we treat ourselves mimics the lens people have chosen to use when looking at us. It’s true that people’s perceptions of us do not have to become our reality. But I submit to you that it is also true that, we become what people say we are the day our heart’s feet follow in the direction of their words, whether good or bad.
A lot of people are trapped in a cycle of actively dismissing themselves without persuasion because that’s what everybody else around them is doing to them.
They choose to silence that small voice in their minds telling them what’s right, and that they are right, simply because what’s right goes against what’s popular about them.
Don’t believe the hype.
In many instances, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. But the lenses others use when they look at you cause them not to see you for you. But instead, they see you for what they are or what they are not, what they can never be or what they think you should be. Never tint your lenses with the opinions of others. Refuse to see your tomorrow through the outlook of their of fears, impossibilities and doubt.
Go against your training.
We are socialised to doubt our abilities and instincts, this incapacity makes us dangerously submissive because we stop questioning those with seemingly stronger opinions, deeper pockets and louder voices, even when we feel they are wrong.
We are conditioned to prioritise social acceptance, compliance and the need fit in, even when the society’s frame is smaller than God’s picture about our lives.
Abantu bazothini – what will the people say? This self-imposed question is a limitation that has robbed the world of so many talented people.
Fixing a life that is not broken is vandalising the fabrics of the soul.
You must resolve it in your mind that you will no longer be complicit when confronted by other people’s negativity about you; your silence has made you a partner to their crimes against your potential.
The time has come for you to speak up and speak out. Stop orchestrating your own beatdown by quieting your emotional pain, stop silencing your displeasure, stop reserving your disappointments, stop retracting your courage and stop thinking that joy is a private expression. You’ve inflicted enough stress on your heart and mind by objecting the true state of your emotions. You feel what you feel for a reason. Learn to listen to yourself.
Here’s a tip.
You are with the wrong crowd if their spirits light up because of the chaos in your life.
Here’s another one.
You are with the right people if they will not tolerate your pessimism and self-loathing.
You’re not crazy.
See, our relationships with people whether plutonic, personal or in between are naturally based on dominance – mentally, emotionally, physically, materially, spiritually and otherwise. However, my friend, do know, that you are in a slave-master situation when all you do is about pleasing others, at the expense of your peace and health.
I will end with this, you are not crazy for expecting people to address you with the same respect you present when addressing them. You are not crazy for refusing to cater to other people’s insecurities. You are not crazy for thinking that you can become a better version of yourself, that you can learn from your mistakes and tower above every opinion.